Security Blanket

In July 1999, my life changed forever. I'd been away for a friend's hen do. We'd had a fantastic time, laughing from the minute we got there til the minute we got back. But on my return, mum sat me down and said she had something to tell me. When you know someone who has already been through cancer and appears to be in remission you come to dread these kind of conversations. And with good cause...

"It's back, I've got secondaries. It's in my liver and there's nothing they can do. I've got maybe 2 years left"

Even today, I find it hard to take in. The unfairness of life that could condemn my mum to this life sentence. A woman who had spent her life encouraging and supporting others and never putting herself first. And even then she was more concerned for me "please make sure you get yourself checked out and as regularly as you can - I don't want you to get it". I couldn't even think of the illness in terms of the possible risks to me at this point. All I could think was it was going to take my mum long before I was ready to let her go.

If this wasn't stressful enough just a month later I was supposed to be moving to London to take up a new job and new life. Well I just won't go I told Mum. She went mad "You WILL go! I want you to take this chance and enjoy it. Don't you dare stay here for me. I'd feel like a watched pot. I told your brother the same when he went to Australia. You have to go"

And so I went! Mum's are always right! It's been an incredible 11 years down here.

When I first arrived in the Big Smoke I was a fragile, naive 25 year old. I'd never used public transport to get home after a night out, I'd never had to walk anywhere by myself at night and my home town was reassuringly well known. Mum and Dad came to visit after a month or two and brought a shiny new (and huge by todays standards) mobile phone for me.

Since then, my mobile has been my constant companion. I feel edgy and uneasy if I forget it and I have to sleep with it next to me at night. Sad? Maybe but during the last few months of mum's life that phone became a lifeline between London and my home town 250 miles away. I could still go out and about but I had the security of knowing that if the 'phonecall' came in I could be on my way fairly quickly. It really had become my security blanket. Every one of the phonecalls I received telling me to get home as quick as I could were taken on that mobile phone. Without it, I might not have got there to say goodbye and that is a thought too scary to contemplate.

So if you see someone who appears to be overly attached to their phone - spare a few seconds to think - there may be a very good reason for it. Phones aren't just a fashion accessory they can be the difference between getting there or not and that's a choice everyone should get if possible.