Dzien Dobry

UNLIKE SOME SIBLINGS, MY BROTHER AND I ARE GREAT FRIENDS. WE HAVE A SIMILAR SENSE OF HUMOUR, LIKE THE SAME KIND OF MUSIC, GO TO GIGS TOGETHER, HAVE BEEN BITTEN BY THE SAME TRAVEL BUG AND HAVE THE SAME ABILITY TO SEE THE RANDOM AND RIDICULOUS IN EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS. BACK IN 2006, HE BOUGHT A RUSTY OLD TRANSIT THAT HAD BEEN CONVERTED INTO A CAMPER (COMPLETE WITH PORCELAIN SINK AND COOKER!) AND HE SET OFF TO EXPLORE EUROPE. BEING A TEACHER, I WAS ABLE TO JOIN HIM FOR THREE WEEKS ON THE SCANDINAVIAN, EASTERN EUROPEAN LEG OF THE TOUR. I CAN HONESTLY SAY WE HAD THREE WEEKS OF FUN, EYE WATERING LAUGHTER AND ENOUGH RANDOM MOMENTS TO KEEP US EATING OUT FOR YEARS TO COME. THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS AN OLD TRAVELOGUE THAT I'VE ADAPTED AND IT RECOUNTS ONE OF THE MOST BIZARRE EVENINGS OF THE TRIP - ENJOY...

Imagine yourself getting onto a huge boat about to leave well ordered, immaculate Sweden where everybody speaks English to travel for 18 hours to Poland, where English speakers are rare outside the main towns. Gulp - that was us as we boarded our ferry. Neither of us was looking forward to 18 hours on a boat, especially as we hadn't opted for a cabin but were going to sleep on the floor or in chairs. And who says travelling is glamorous?

As it turned out we had the most fun filled, bizarre, and random 18 hours of the trip. Firstly, the beers were considerably cheaper than Sweden so brother (we'll call him Mr Transit) was delighted. Secondly, the ferry had an on board nightclub. So after a couple of drinks, a quick nap and a game of cards we were ready to cut some shapes on the floor.

The nightclub was full of Polish people the Swedes having retired to bed to make themselves even more gorgeous for their arrival in a new country. Polish people have an amazing love of life - they embrace everything with enthusiasm, especially drinking and dancing! When we entered the nightclub the floor was awash with couples dancing madly and there was lots of swinging partners around, jumping, hopping and other such flamboyant movements. Mr Transit and I sat down with a mind to join the dancing a little later. Maybe so for Mr Transit but there were other plans for me! A tall, skinny Prince Harry lookalike with MAD hair came and asked my brother's permission to dance with me. Mr Transit thought this was hilarious "you crack on mate, she's all yours" was his brotherly reply! My dance partner was very drunk and as he lead me to the floor I was starting to feel a little nervous.

By the end of the dance I was feeling more than a little sea sick too, as his dance moves consisted of
a - swinging me wildly from side to side
b - spinning me round and round
c - a combination of the above
d - flinging himself to his knees while spinning me around

He also held a conversation with me despite me telling him repeatedly that I didn't understand and I was English. My knowledge of the Polish vocab consists of hello, goodbye and cheers and unfortunately I haven't yet mastered the phrase "your dancing is making me feel dog rough, please let me go and sit down" The text books never contain anything so useful...

Mr Transit of course appreciated this as only a brother can - by laughing, laughing oh and laughing! I returned to my chair worn out but having enjoyed myself.
Mr Transit and I cut some very British shapes on the dance floor and then found our way to the lounge deck and sprawled on the floor until morning. Well actually we lay in our sleeping bags crammed between the seats on one of the decks but I don't wish to be picky!

Our plan once we arrived in Gdansk was to treat ourselves to a cheap hotel or hostel. Gdansk had other ideas. The whole city is cut in two by the Polish answer to the M25 which meant getting to the part of town we wanted was impossible. Added to this was the roadworks which were nightmarish. We spent 2 hours getting from the ferry (5km) to the town centre only to find out that the hostel was full. I'm sure Gdansk is very nice but my love for it had gone and we left and headed for the Great Masurian Lakes.

Now I hope you are sitting comfortably, as far from the road as you can be while I tell you about the drivers over here. THEY ARE MAD!!! Mr Transit and I have experienced roads in the South of France and South East Asia but let me tell you they are tame compared to here. Nobody seems to take any notice of the speed restrictions, the rules, the road signs etc. Instead a normal 50kph road is turned into 4 lanes of speeding and overtaking traffic. We have lived in fear of being driven off the road into the surrounding ditches so someone can over take us. They do this with alarming frequency on blind bends, up hill, across solid white lines. Dear God it is terrifying!! We have even been overtaken by two caravans which then proceeded to bounce and jump across the road due to speed and pot holes. I am now immune to anything!

Having survived the roads (just) we found a great campsite by a lake and thankfully left the madness to settle down for a good nights sleep. And I mean good, I slept for 11 blissful hours. Mr Transit was considering checking for a pulse at one point.
The next day saw us driving to Mikolajki (mee-ko-wahy-kee). This is a truly quaint and picturesque place perched on the lake. Our camp site was just 5 minutes from the town centre so we wandered down to have a look. There seemed to be a summer fete or festival happening and lots of Polish families having a great holiday. We sampled some wine and beer and took in the atmosphere. We have been lucky with the live music in the countries we have visited but we were a little perplexed to hear the Irish Rovers being sung in Polish! Well at least we knew the words - sort of.

Sadly we left this lovely place as we are on a fairly tight schedule to get to Budapest in time for the festival there. And so once again, we pulled onto the road and faced the onslaught of the Polish traffic. I've learnt that the best thing is to close your eyes and go to a happy place - I'll see you there.