Self-inflicted pressure

In just four days, I will be playing hostess at a charity do to raise money for the wonderful Queenscourt Hospice in Southport. As I've touched on before, this amazing place made my Mum and Grandma's last days as dignified and comfortable as possible. And when you are contending with an illness like cancer that can be incredibly difficult.

Cancer. One of the most dreaded and feared words in the world. Cancer has no regard for age, size, race, colour, belief or wealth. It has no sense of discrimination. Every one of us will be affected by this dreadful illness in our lives, whether it be directly or indirectly. Sad but unfortunately true.

Three years after Mum died I decided I needed to do something positive. As a family, the Hospice had given us so much in terms of medical, emotional and pastoral care. And I had an overwhelming desire to do give something back.

And so, the first Charity Event for the Hospice was born. Over the years, the themes have included School Disco, Gangsters and Molls, Think Pink, A Blue Ball and Woodstock. This year, I've gone with Ascot. We ladies love an excuse to get out our posh frocks and this seemed the perfect theme to encourage this.

As ever, I'm looking forward to the night. But I have to admit, I'm a little nervous too. You see, this year the event is very close to the anniversary (April 27th). Each year I get braver and braver. The first year my thank you speech was a pityful and nerve filled one minute of mumbled thanks. But as the years have gone on, I've grown in confidence (and of course, time has done a lot to heal). Last year I even managed to raise a glass in Mum's honour and mention her by name. Something I would never have been able to do a few years ago. So that brings us to this year's event. An event that will take place a mere 10 days before the anniversary of Mum's death 9 years ago. Yes it's an added pressure on a night that is emotionally charged but the Hospice is worth it, and so was Mum.