The Singleton Diaries

Tonight is my first quiet Friday for about seven weeks and I fully intend to enjoy every minute of it! Count down to PJ's, TV dinner and hot chocolate has begun.

Having reached the scarifying age of 35, I am still husband and child free. Which obviously makes me something of a social leper in the eyes of some people. I however see it as the ultimate freedom! Not for me the hideous school run followed by chicken nuggets and then a mad dash to Brownies, Cubs, football, ballet or the million and one other hobbies that most children have these days. Not for me the dreaded maths homework or school challenges that prevent families from actually spending any quality weekend time together. Not for me the drunken "I really love you" as the front door crashes open at 3am. Not for me the "But we can't go away this weekend it's the footy". And for that I heave a sigh of relief!

It's fair to say I lead the ultimate singleton life. I have a good, stable job, my own place, a varied group of friends, and I'm always up to something interesting most weekends. Primarily gig going (but more of that in a future blog).

"I don't know how you have the energy" enquire mystified colleagues and friends.

The answer is glaringly obvious I'd have thought...no kids, no husband/boyfriend = lots of time for me. If I want to get home from work and get straight into my PJ's (which will occur in about oh ten minutes) then I can. If I decide that cooking is off the menu and cheese on toast is that's also fine. If I decide to watch re-runs of Friends and my Twilight DVD til I know it word perfect (also happening in about 10minutes), that is completely and utterly acceptable. It's a win win situation if you ask me!

Now before you start thinking I'm one of these deranged feminists who claims to hate the male population while secretly being absolutely desparate to catch Mr Right, let me put the record straight.

Did I ever imagine that at the age of 35 I'd still be single with no kids? Of course not. Girls are conditioned from an early age by society and films (just look at Cinderella et al) to expect that Prince Charming is out there for everyone and that true fulfillment comes with a husband and children. Although I don't buy completely into this I think it's fair to say that girls are definitley conditioned to believe that having a man in your life is a good thing, something to strive for. And in that respect, I'm no different from most females. In fact if we're all going to be completely honest, I'm no different from most people. Human beings are not programmed to be by themselves. Of course there are the exceptions to the rules but in the main, nobody likes to think of themselves as getting old and grey alone.

I have several good friends and acquaintances who are very keen for me to settle down with some guy and have babies. However, I'm not always convinced that they want me to find Mr Right but just Mr He'll Do! Well I'm sorry but that's not good enough for me. Why should I have to compromise on something so important just coz I'm not 25 anymore?

A lovely couple asked me just the other night "Do you NEED a man?"

NO!! Sure I'd like to have a guy to spoil me, laugh with, go on holiday with, go gigging with, explore new places with and have dinner with. Plus, I've got a problem with my extractor fan that could probably be sorted by a bloke whacking it with a hammer or some such thing. And let me tell you, when you are ill and have no one to make you a cuppa or even check you are ok, it's pretty damn miserable.

But to be totally honest as much as I would like to have a funny, smart, caring guy in my life it would have to be on my terms!
I'm used to being by myself; used to having total control of the remote; used to possession of all of the duvet; used to coming and going as I please without having to check the joint diary; used to changing plans on a whim; used to buying as many shoes as I like without having to hide them in the back of the cupboard from preying eyes. I think it's fair to say, I've got pretty used to life by myself.

And now it has just dawned on me: something even more scary than being single and 35...I have become the ultimate Bachelor! Bring on the mid-life crisis!