Decision Time

I have a big decision to make. Probably one of the biggest I will ever make. It could mean the difference between being happy for ever more or facing a life somewhat more miserable.

This decision has been thrust upon me. I certainly didn't ask for it or seek it out. It's fair to say, it's been a bit of a roller coaster month.

I usually enjoy extremely good health. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been really ill in my life. As a result, I am the first to admit I make a terrible patient. I find it hard to do nothing and take it easy. I find it impossible to admit that my body needs a rest. So imagine my dismay when I was diagnosed with a form of Vertigo. No cure other than rest, rest and more rest. Give me the nasty tasting medicine any day!!

This vertigo has left me weepy, emotional, weak, tired, emotionally exhausted, dizzy, nauseous and low. Doesn't that sound like a barrel of laughs? Well no actually, it's been pretty damn miserable.

And if that wasn't enough to contend with, the heating has been playing up for three weeks. Countless visits later and it looks as if a solution may just be in sight. And then of course the snow arrived which means the heating engineer couldn't come out! The catalogue of disasters continued with the flat I own down south having electric problems that needed sorting. And I am supposed to avoid stress as it makes the vertigo worse.....

Avoiding stress seems to be difficult at the moment. Which leads me back to the case in point. The big decision. A decision that I'm not in an emotionally strong place to make. I'm worried I'll make the wrong decision because I am just so tired. It's a scary thing to realise that a decision made when you are at low ebb and physically and emotionally exhausted could change your life forever. Do I want to make this decision at the moment? Absolutely not! Do I have to make the decision at the moment? Unfortunately yes!

I'm throwing ideas, thoughts, scenarios and options around my head like a juggler. But my catching skills are appalling!

What I really need is a holiday away, in the sun, with no cares or worries. Instead I have Christmas to contend with and unfortunately, this decision will make or break the festive period.

A Happy Christmas.....I can only hope