Pebble Culture

This is a strange little phenomenon that only women get - apparently. I however, believe that men have a soft spot for it too...they just won't admit it.

For those of you not in the know, Pebble Culture is the thing that transforms a house into a home. It's the nick-nacks, art work, cushions, candles, rugs, throws and other stuff that add to the atmosphere and ambiance of a place.

I am the first to admit I love a bit of Pebble Culture. Now don't get me wrong, my house is not littered with dust gathering ornaments. Nor is it awash with cuddly toys and fluffy things. I have my share of Art work (mostly music or travel related) and I have a few cushions. But my main nod to the Pebble Culture is candles - I do love a good candle! My sitting room alone boasts around 15. All artfully arranged around the fire place. My dining room holds another 10 or so. My bedroom has 3. In this modern world where lights can be dimmed by a clap of a hand or voice control there is something quite primitive and homely about a simple candle that is lit by a match (even I draw the line at a tinderbox!).

Words spoken by candlelight can mean something totally different to the exact same words spoken under electric light. Listening to an album by candlelight can change the whole sound and mood of the music without even touching an instrument.

Candlelight is a powerful thing. It can inspire confidences, romantic gestures, whispered secrets, shared dreams, a sense of cosiness, or pure and simply relaxation.

If you ask most men in company if they like candles they normally grunt, shake their heads and mutter something about burning money. And yet these same men will be the first to light a candle or 5 in the winter months or fill the garden with tea lights in the summer.

Most of my ex-boyfriends have been very comfortable with the idea of Pebble Culture and the odd one or two have even had to be reigned in by me (shocking isn't it) to avoid spending all of the food budget on tea lights and soft lighting!

So the next time a bloke tries to convince you that Pebble Culture is just for women - don't' believe them! And put that extra Yankee Candle in the trolley for good measure!

And Who Says Romance is Dead?

A male friend of mine asked for some dating advice the other day. Yeah, I know it's laughable isn't it? Not only am I single but I'm not even a regular girl! Now don't get me wrong, I have all the physical attributes in the right places but I'm just not very conventional in many other ways. I don't get the whole don't call for three days rule. If you like someone....call them! I don't understand why high maintenance women are seen as even remotely attractive. If I'm totally honest, I just don't understand the dating game. So good luck to my friend following my advice!

Anyway, this little foray into dating advice got me thinking about romance in general. What does romance mean these days? For centuries men and women have been conditioned to see certain actions as the only way to be romantic. Just look at all those knights in shining armour slaying dragons and rescuing damsels in distress from huge towers. Men are expected to save and protect, women to swoon into their arms and be thankful. Times have changed (thank goodness) and these days women are more likely to fend off the dragons with their steely sharp and deadly heeled Jimmy Choos before making an escape rope from their vast selection of clothing than to wait around for some bloke to turn up and save them.

So what does romance look like in these modern times? It's hard to pinpoint exactly. Everyone has their own ideas I suppose. So I'm going to start with a list of what is definitely NOT romantic.

It is NOT in the slightest bit romantic to do any of the following:-

1. Declare undying love after the first date - it's just scary!
2. Serenade your loved one at 3am with a tone deaf rendition of Lady in Red - I am still in therapy!
3. Arrive home at 3am, drunk as a lord, switch on the bedroom light and announce in what you think is a romantic tone 'I weeallly loooovvvvveeeee you!' Guys please note this point is never, ever, EVER romantic!!!!
4. Take your loved one to a vastly over priced and crowded restaurant on Valentines Day - it's just not original
5. Tattooing your loved one's name across your chest
6. Buying flowers from the garage - ever!
7. Buying cheap and nasty, tacky and tarty lingerie


Having read that list you are probably thinking this girl is having a laugh - she's more high maintenance than the lot! But I like to consider it as just fussy! So what does this non-conventional, fussy female see as romantic?

It is the epitome of romance to do any of the following:-

1. Buy gig tickets for a favourite band
2. Buy a book that you think your loved one will like
3. Buy flowers just because...not because it is their birthday/you are saying sorry/they were on special in the bargain basement (see point 6 above)
4. Make dinner
5. Make a cuppa and take it to them in bed
6. Organise a surprise weekend in Bruges,Venice, Prague or Iceland (to see the Volcanic ash for yourselves). Actually just organise a surprise weekend anywhere should do it.
7. Take them to the theatre
8. To arrive home at 3am blind drunk, quietly crawl into bed and pass out (see point 3 above)


There, simple really. But that of course is just my opinion. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would love to be rescued by a knight so they could swoon seductively into their arms. I on the other hand am fully aware that if I attempted such a thing I would inevitably miss his arms and end up with concussion and that really wouldn't be romantic at all!