Unwanted Guest

I feel AWFUL!

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with vertigo. I know that sounds bizarre. And ironically enough in my real world I am scared of being up too high. If I feel unsafe my mind whirls and I feel dizzy. But I never expected to experience that when standing on the ground. After all, I'm only 5 ft 4 (well 5 ft 3 and 3/4's if I'm totally honest).

But that is just what my life has been like since the end of September. The odd dizzy spell which I put down to low sugars developed into full blown vertigo or Labyrinthitus to give it the correct name. Basically this means that I feel dizzy, wobbly, drunk, anxious, nauseous, weak, exhausted and downright unwell.

I was signed off for 2 weeks before Christmas following a trip to the emergency doctor. I am a terrible patient. I am not used to being ill. I'm not used to having to stay in bed or on the sofa doing nothing. I am not used to feeling so weak and reliant upon others. So as you can imagine the last few weeks have been less than a walk in the park. More like a bloody big slog across the Sahara!

I spent the two weeks trying to follow doctors orders and did remain on the sofa for several days. My body didn't give me much choice as my eyelids would just droop of their own accord if forced into unwanted activity.

I naively thought that 2 weeks would sort me out. But here I am nearly a month later still feeling rubbish. I've just spent a lovely weekend with my brother in Yorkshire. And all I could manage in way of entertainment was to fall asleep on his sofa for most of yesterday.

I know he is worried about me. If I'm honest, I am too. I guess 2011 needs to be the year when I start putting me first. No more miss nice guy. No more running round after everyone else.

And so I'm signing out and taking my rightful place....on the sofa!

Clean Sheets

I'm sitting in my flat surrounded by chaos!

Everywhere I look there are clothes, shoes, bags, books, CD's, stuff and even more stuff! And what's worse, I know I have just 2 weeks to sort it all out, get it packed and move it.

At the moment the task seems a little too large to contemplate. I hate the mess, it's driving me crazy. I hate the fact that everywhere I look, there is something that needs putting away. I know I should do something about it but I'm just too tired.

As soon as I get through the door at the moment, I feel compelled to throw my stuff on the floor and collapse on the bed for a snooze. The only thing is, the snoozes have a tendency to turn into a full blown sleep. My eyes just won't open.

I got up from today's snooze an hour ago and it's taken considerable effort to turn on the lap top and tap some keys. To be perfectly honest, I could happily crawl back to bed and sleep through til the morning.

And do you know what, that's exactly what I'm going to do. There's nobody else here to criticise, no one here to laugh, and no one here to complain. Nick Drake is on the stereo, my sheets are clean and smelling of Comfort and at the moment, nothing could convince me that staying awake seems a good idea.

Right then, over and out!